iMock Myself
by Whitewash893
Summary: I had some horrible fanfictions back in the day. Come and see some  bad  MSTing I did of it if you're in the mood to rot your mind.
1. iBand Chapter one

_**Hey, you probably don't remember me, but I was princess-charly here at some point. I left for, what, a year? Two, maybe. I'm not really sure. Either way, I'm back and hopefully not as fail as I was before. Anyway, you're about to face me MSTing my old stories. Enjoy or not, I don't really care. Anything underlined, italicised and bolded is my MSTing. Turn back now.**_

Chapter 1

**Authors Note: this is my second fanfiction... I will use mainly other people's songs in this. And I do love reviews... if chocolate wasn't my chocolate reviews would be! SO R&R**

_**...What the hell? What was I on? "If chocolate wasn't my chocolate blahblahblah review begging"**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the English language... (Whispered: what do you mean I don't need a disclaimer for that... oh...) I don't own icarly either (nervous laughter).**

_**Was that supposed to be funny? Well it's not.**_

Sam's POV

Carly, Freddie and I were watching Seattle beet

_**Is that a new type of vegetable?**_

on TV. "We have a new competition here on Seattle beat, a sort of 'battle of the bands' if you will. The bands will battle against each other and the winner will get to record a song with none other but the Jonas brothers! Everyone entering this contest must be 18 yrs

_**Use the full word, you moron! And the Jonas Brothers, really?**_

or older or have permission from all parents and or legal guardians. Check out our website for details."

Carly muted the TV and said "oh".

"My" I said.

"I'm not as excited about this as you are so I'm not joining in said Freddie.

_**Freddie: In fact, I'm so not excited that I can't even have speech marks used properly when I speak!**_

"Gosh" said Carly and I said, I was too excited to even glare at the geek.

"Let's check out the website NOW!" said Carly, running to get to the computer in her room. Freddie and I followed.

"Look!" said Carly (she was already on the website) "the band need at least 3 people!"

_**The descriptive writing here blows my mind.**_

"We have three people!" I say.

"Not if you're including me in that!" said Freddie.

"Of course I was dorkface, as much as I tease you, you're still one of us" I said.

_**Wooooah, OOC aleart! Can anyone actually picture Sam saying that?**_

"I am not going to be in a band!" said Freddie.

"Please, for me" said Carly, _it's disgusting how he always says yes when she says that._

_**The readers are psychic, that's why there's no indication of that being a thought!**_

"NO" said Freddie, _that a first._

"Freddie, you have a choice, be in this band or I'll kiss you" I say, _I know dorkface'll say he'll be in the band now._

"NO" said Freddie, _maybe he wants to kiss me... no that's stupid, just because I want to kiss him doesn't mean he wants to kiss me._

_**Woah, where the hell did that come from? Seriously, before this point in the fic would you of thought she liked him in it?**_

"Freddie, you will be in this band or I'll put you on the wedgie-bounce, dress you up like a little girl, walk you around the park and then take you into the public toilets and give you a swirly!" I say, _if he says no..._

_**...And Freddie will just let you do all of this.**_

"Well..." he says, he looked scared.

"Listen fredweird, if you don't be in this band I'll make Azula **(a/n had to put her in, she's of the show 'the avatar', if you haven't seen it you really should... btw azula is pure evil, she makes freddy crugger seem nice...) **

_**Every time an authors note is put in the middle of a story a puppy gets shot.**_

**seem** like a nice old lady who gives lollies to little kids!" i say, _oh dear ham,_ _did i just say that?_

"You're a fan of the avatar?" asked Freddie looking amazed.

"Yes, now say yes or else I will do something unspeakably horrible to you!" I replied angrily.

"OK, OK, OK" he said, _he's so cute when he's amazed and afraid..._

_**...He's so cute when he's amazed and afraid? As opposed to suddenly becoming ugly when he's amazed and confused?**_

"Yes, Yes, Yes Yes, Yes, NO, we need to write our own songs" said Carly; she looked like that was the end of the world.

"I've written a few!" I say.

_**...That is a joke, right? Out of all the characters on the show... actually, now that I think about it I can kind of see Sam writing songs, she'd just never tell anyone.**_

"You have?" said Freddie and Carly.

"Yes, is that so hard to believe?" I asked.

"Quite frankly, yes" said Carly at the same time Freddie said "Do I even know you?"

"Not really" I say.

I shrug then leave, I need to get home to get some more ham. I ate all Carlys.

_**I don't know about you, but so far, this fic makes me sad. So much OOC and just... badness.**_

Freddie's POV

"So, Carly... what are you doing this weekend?" I say

"Go" said Carly, pointing at the door.

I walked away. _Thank goodness, if she said yes I wouldn't know what to do. It's been years since I actually had a crush on her. It would be impossible to go on a date with her when I have a crush on Sa... NO I DON'T, STOP THINKING THAT!_

_**Real subtle. That scene was only there because I wanted people to know that they both liked each other, obviously.**_

I leave to think about what I've learnt today... and to call Sam... I want to see how far she is into watching the series; we could watch a few episodes together...

_Alone together... STOP IT BRAIN!_

Talk about the show... and I really want to hear her songs... oh I'm home...

_**You do realise that you only live about a meter away from Carly's house, right?**_

I called Sam

_**You called Sam what?**_

_**Periods; use them.**_

"Hey" I said into the phone.

"Who's this?" said a voice that I recognized as Sam's.

"It's me, Freddie"

"Hi Fredweird, wrong number?"

_**I have no idea how these people are talking. Sorry, just needed to point out that my description skills back then were made of fail.**_

"No, I wanted to talk to you" I answered.

"HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?" she screamed... (I think I'm deaf)

_**Yes, how **_**did**_** you get her number, Freddie?**_

"Number one) OW. Number two) you gave it to me three years ago"

"And you kept it that long?" she asked, her voice was oddly quiet.

"Yes" I say, hoping she won't ask why... truth is, I've had a huge crush on her these past few years... _NO HAVN'T NO NO NO... OK I HAVE._

_**Okay, seriously, you may of thought that all if your readers are morons, but by this stage of the story I think they had worked that out by themselves.**_

"So what do you want Freddie?"I think she's dropped the number thing...

"I was wondering... how far are you into the avatar?"

"I finished season two last night"

"Really, I just got season three this morning! Do you wanna come over and watch a few episodes?"

"Wait a second, are you asking me on a date?" she sounded disgusted.

_**That doesn't sound like a date to me.**_

"NO" I say, trying to sound disgusted as well.

"Ok then, I guess I can"

"You should bring a couple of the songs, we are a band now... and I have a guitar if you know how to play it" _so I want to hear her sing, sue me._

"Ok. See you in a few Freddie... I mean fredweird.

_**Abrupt ending much? Also, why did I fail at using speech marks.**_

_**So, in summery: Carly, Freddie and are now in a band because of a contest on "Seattle beet"; Sam writes songs, Freddie wants to hear them; Sam and Freddie randomly love each other and are going to have the most stupid sate ever; I fail at description.**_

_**...Dear god, I can't even mock this thing well.**_


	2. iBand Chapter two

_**Oh wow, more fail MSTing of my own fail. :D Get ready to wish you had a spork to gouge your eyes out with! **_

Chapter 2

**Authors note: 1st**

_**It's spelled "first", stupid.**_

**I would like to thank**

**, iheartfreddork, chocoholic1471, Annemarie Ramsden and icarlyonlybaby21**

**For reviewing.**

_**That didn't need a new line or a capital letter. **_

**4everyoung2, MewNacho3, Seddie4EVER294, Thief-Trickster5, laalaa1123**

**For putting me on their story and/or author alerts.**

_**...I've really no clue why anyone would do that.**_

**icarlyonlybaby21**

**For putting me on their story favourites and**

**Everyone who read this**

**For reading this.**

_**You NEED to thank them. Why was that in the middle of the page, anyway?**_

**Song by Miley Cyrus (or Hannah Montana I forget and can't be bothered looking it up)**

_**It was Hannah Montana you lazy idiot.**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own icarly... I do however own the song, it's on my computer ;)**

_**Still not funny.**_

Sam's POV

_I'm about to be on a date with Freddie, I'm about to be on a date with Freddie... NO YOU'RE NOT _I think, arguing with myself as I get one of my songs.

_**That was just... that was one of the worst things I've read in a long time. That transition from thought to, uh, what ever that was was horrible.**_

_But still, it could turn into one... NO IT CANT, DIDN'T YOU HEAR HOW DISGUSTED HE SOUNDED WHEN YOU SUGGESTED THAT, HOW HE COMPLETELY IGNORED THE TONE OF VOICE YOU SAID THAT IN... YOU SOUNDED HOPEFUL AND HE STILL SOUNDED DISGUSTED... BOTTOM LINE, HE DOESN'T WANT TO DATE YOU, GET OVER IT!_

_**Holy mother of run on sentence. I think my brain just died.**_

It wasn't long until I got there and when I did I almost went into Carlys house, but I caught what I was doing at the last minute and took a bobby pin out of my hair and picked Freddie's lock. When I went in I got a bit of a surprise when I saw all the trouble he seemed to have gone through to get ready, there was a bucket of ham and cheese popcorn,

_**His mother really let that in the house? He MUST of gone through a lot of trouble.**_

one bucket of toffee covered popcorn,

_**Mrs. Benson: I said yes to the ham and cheese popcorn for your girlfriend, BUT THIS IS GOING TOO FAR D**_

one bucket of unsalted and unflavoured popcorn,

_**Mrs. Benson: Now that's more like it! ...If only it were organic *frets***_

the DVD player was out, the guitar was in the corner and two beanbags facing the BIG SCREEN TV...

"When did you get a big screen TV?" I asked, surprised.

"Not just a big screen, a HD big screen and the guy installed it

_**I didn't know televisions needed to be installed! :O Freddie, surely you could do it yourself.**_

yesterday. You're the first person to see it, I mean, first person who doesn't live here... Anyway take a seat." He said motioning to the beanbag looking embarrassed

_**Why was he embarrassed? Having a cool TV is embarrassing? Beanbags are embarrassing?**_

"or you could sing your song first, your choice"

"Watch the avatar first, that way we can go over to show Carly the song at the same time and she won't be completely creped

_**You mean creeped, right?**_

out when we leave and go into your house together."

_**But she'll find it totally normal when you two show up at the exact same time!**_

"True, I mean, who knows what she'd think" but he didn't seem to care that much.

"So, you're just starting to watch season 3?" I asked.

"Yep, what did you think of the end of season 2?"

"I couldn't believe it, Aang nearly got killed and I thought it was going to be a real Zutarian thing"

"Zutarian? What's that?"

"Relationship between Zuko and Katara"

"Oh... well it makes more sense than Aangtara"

_**I have totally lost track of who's talking here.**_

"What the ham is an Aangtara?" I said laughing.

"Aang and Katara" he said, but it was more like a question.

"That's called Kataang" I said laughing. "So are you a zutarian then?"

"Yes, I think so. You know, they kind of remind me of... someone" he said hesitantly.

"Who?" I asked frowning, trying to figure out who he meant.

_**I bet none of the readers have any clue about who it is. :o**_

"Never mind" he said almost sadly, looking down at his shoes.

We watched a few episodes, talked a little, then I went to get a bit of ham and cheese popcorn but I grabbed something else. _Freddie and I are holding hands! _I thought, going red _no we aren't, I just accidently grabbed his hand. _It felt good in a weird way, I wanted to hold it forever butI quickly let go of his hand.

_**I was trying to be descriptive! Too bad I failed.**_

"Uh, sorry" I said looking at my shoes and hoping he doesn't notice I'm blushing.

"Wanna go to Carlys now?" he said quickly.

"YES" I yelled "I mean, ok"

We walked to Carlys. _Thank ham her and Freddie live across the hall from each other. _Freddie knocked on the door.

_**Thank ham? Sam isn't really that crazy, is she?**_

"Who's there?" asked Carly then she opened the door.

"Just us" said Freddie.

"Us?" said Carly looking confussed "what are you a couple? And this is the longest I've seen you two go without arguing... ok, what were you two doing before you got here?"

_**See, totally normal to show up together.**_

"That's what he said, no way, true and watching the avatar." I said.

"Suuuuuuuuuure" said Carly scepticly.

_**Seriously, why is Carly being such a know-it-all?**_

"It's true" said Freddie.

"Anyway" I said "I came here so I could sing you two the song I wrote"

"Ok go" said Carly

"ok, but don't laugh" I said I was very nervous, no-one had ever heard me sing and no-one had even read one of my songs.

_**If your friends laugh at you for singing then they're really jerks, no matter how bad you are.**_

**(a/n: during songs lyrics will be in bold and memories, thoughts or flashbacks will be in italics. And when someone sings they will just have their names 1st** **letter at the end of their part)**

_**I think I'm going to be sick. That is the worst way that this could possibly be done.**_

"**Uh oh  
there you go again talking cinematic  
Yeah you!  
You're charming, got everybody star struck.  
I know  
how you always seem to go  
for the obvious instead of me" **S

_I wrote this song when Freddie started to date Valerie, I know I practically set it up but never thought he'd say yes._

_**I didn't think he'd say yes either. **_

"**But get a ticket and you'll see **

**If we were a movie  
You'd be the right guy  
And I'd be the best friend  
You'd fall in love with  
In the end we'd be laughing  
Watching the sunset  
Fade to black  
Show the names  
Play the happy song  
**  
**Yeah  
Yeah, yeah  
When you call me  
I can hear it in your voice  
Oh sure!  
Wanna see me  
and tell me all about her"** S

_**This whole "first letter of the persons first name" thing is already annoying the hell out of me.**_

_And then when they were dating all he ever talked about was her._

"**La la  
I'll be acting through my tears  
I guess you'll never know  
that I should win  
An Oscar for this scene I'm in" **S

_I told a lot of jokes; it was all I could do to stop myself crying. _

_**You know, it just hit me; Hannah Montana was all "county-pop", right? Isn't that what Jannette McCurdy sings, too? I... actually am not sure.**_

**"If we were a movie  
you'd be the right guy  
And I'd be the best friend  
you'd fall in love with" **S

_Because Samantha Pucket does not cry, especially over a guy._

_**I misread that as gay... Not the fics fault, but now I have an idea for an actual story.**_

**"In the end we'd be laughing  
Watching the sunset  
Fade to black  
Show the names  
****Play the happy song" **S

_Even if she is in love._**  
**  
**"Wish I could tell you there's a twist  
Some kind of hero in disguise  
And we're together  
It's for real  
Now playing  
Wish I could tell you there's a kiss  
Like something more than in my mind  
I see it  
Could be amazing" **S

_I jealous but didn't let anyone know, not even Carly._

**"If we were a movie  
You'd be the right guy  
And I'd be the best friend  
You'd fall in love with  
In the end we'd be laughing  
Watching the sunset  
Fade to black  
Show the names  
Play the happy song" **S

_I didn't want anyone to know I was jealous, especially my self._

_**This is getting old quickly.**_

"**If we were a movie  
You'd be the right guy  
And I'd be the best friend  
You'd fall in love with  
In the end we'd be laughing  
Watching the sunset  
Fade to black  
Show the names  
Play the happy song" **S

_I knew I should be happy for him. But I wasn't._

"**If we were a movie  
You'd be the right guy  
And I'd be the best friend  
You'd fall in love with  
In the end we'd be laughing  
Watching the sunset  
Fade to black  
Show the names  
Play the happy song" **S

_And if had a new girlfriend I know I still wouldn't be. _

"So what did you think?" I asked smiling, _I think that went well._

_**I thought you were nervous and sad, but okay.**_

They just stood there with their mouths open.

"Was I really that bad?" I asked, my smile fading.

"You were… awesome" said Freddie.

When Freddie said that I couldn't help but smile.

"Really?" I asked quietly.

When Freddie and Carly nodded I ran up and hugged Carly then did something'll probably regret… I ran up to Freddie and kissed him on the cheek. I felt the same feeling I had felt when I grabbed his hand, sort of like I'd been struck by lightning but it didn't hurt, in an impossible to explain way it felt really good…

_**I have no clue what that feeling meant. Was she turned on? I'm not sure.**_

"I'm sorry" said so quietly I would have been surprised if either of them could hear me…

Then I ran.

I ran straight home.

Freddie's POV

_Did Sam just kiss me?_

"I think I'll go after her" I said, before Carly could answer, I was out the door.

_**In summery; Freddie and Sam went had a not date, Carly can see into the future and Sam can sing. **_

_**...Was I serious?**_


End file.
